Vampire Academy Movie Review

I’ve never done a movie review on here before but seen as this film just came onto UK Netflix I thought I’d give it a chance (because y’know I never seem to give up giving YA stuff a billion chances to prove me wrong – yet I am disappointed almost every time). O and I do apologize if I’ve ended up ripping this film to pieces. If you loved the film then I’m happy that it made you happy!

A little heads up on my filmic background before we get onto the review; I studied film studies for two years in college, I love watching films and I have an extensive collection of films that I own/have seen (150+ alone are Japanese films!). So yes, films are a huge part of my life (as is Japanese/Korean TV which are the main reasons why I read so little compared to everyone else) and I am always evaluating and being critical of films that I watch.

O and another heads up; I love vampires!! *watches film*…

Vampire Academy Movie Poster

Even by 10minutes into the film I hated it; the acting was wooden, the lines felt forced, I didn’t see any chemistry between the two main girls, the actions scenes were ridiculous, the girl actors are supposed to be playing 16/17/18 year old teenagers right(?) but they easily look 24/25 years plus(even though one of them was born in ’94!), there’s magic? Vampires doing magic? Are you fucking kidding me that’s stupid!, also if feel like they just copy and pasted the comedy right out of the book and while I can understand that if I had read the books, the comedy certainly would’ve gotten giggles out of me but watching it on screen, the comedy is completely off and again feels very forced; and jesus her British accent is atrocious and annoying (and turns out it was fecking Aussie! No wonder the accent felt so unrealistic and awful!); I have never me a British person speak like that ever(!) and if I did, I’d have to walk away or punch them in the face. Also when the blondie first put her fangs into the other girls shoulder; how 18+ did that look! I was like ‘Oooo are we get a porno?!’ but my excitement quickly diminished because I remembered this was suppose to be YA and not HBO/True Blood – I know the last season of TB sucked but man I loved that series!

However, I do like when she went ‘they don’t sparkle like Twilight’ I like it’s in a universe that is aware of vampires being in books and that it had a little dig at Twilight xD

But I persisted and… no wait, I couldn’t even get to the 30minute mark before I just had to turn it off!

O boo hoo you parents were evil and you hate them and you’re not like them blah blah blah predictable! And insta-love much? Ugh don’t make me through up.
‘She writes twilight fanfiction’ okay the first dig at twilight was amusing, this was just.. ugh, really?!
‘Jesse is still the academy’s number one wet dream boat’ he’s fucking disgusting! How is THAT the best looking actor they could get for playing the book’s hottie?! Another person who looks 24 years plus, no wait, he looks like he’s on his way to hitting thirty within the next year or two! And they picked him to play a HS kid? What the fuck is wrong with this film!? In fact, they ALL look 24 years and over!!!

I can’t. I just cannot carry on watching this pile of drivel that’s had millions spent on it! I really hope this doesn’t get a sequel and it’s a good job (I feel) that I never intended on reading the book series. O stars seriously! I want my 30minutes back please!

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